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 AWSUM JOKES!!!!!

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Vedu_King
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PostSubject: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:52 pm

Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died.
"You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. He unfolded the note and read a loud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

--------------

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

--------------

Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!


------------

Santa: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.


----------------

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.

Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''

-------------

A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.

The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person."

The sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came near"

-------------

once a sardar ji went for an interview for the post of electrical engg.

desk: so you are coming for this post.

sardar ji: yes sir.

desk: so tell me how does an electrical motor runs?

sardarji: o ji its very simple.
TORRRRRRRRRRR..........


---------------

a foolish fellow named banta singh wrote this letter to bill gates(old president of america who discovered windows 95)

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a
computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to
your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.

We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '
button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to
collect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?

10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one
icon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ?

11. And in 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

hope you have enjoyed these jokes Very Happy i'll post more later
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:53 pm

What do you get if you cross a plank of wood and a pencil ?
A drawing board !
What do you get if you cross a dog with a football game ?
Spot-the-ball !
What do you get if you cross a spider with a computer ?
A web page !
What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer ?
Loo-Loo !
What do you get if you cross a frog with a traffic warden ?
Toad away !
What do you get if you cross a flea with some moon rock ?
A lunar - tick !
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a circus entertainer ?
Something that goes straight for the juggler !
What do you get if you cross a snake with a building site ?
A boa-constructor !
What do you get if you cross a parrot with an alarm clock ?
Politics !
What do you get if you cross a bottle of washing up liquid and a mouse ?
Bubble and squeak !


These are my jokes...
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shikamaru97
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue Apr 21, 2009 10:15 am

your jokes were cool.
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue Apr 21, 2009 4:46 pm

What do you get if you cross a mountain and a baby ?
A cry for Alp !
What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with some insects ?
Ants in your plants !
What do you get if you cross a bunch of flowers with a burglar ?
Robbery with violets !
What do you get if you cross a cow and a goat ?
Butter from a butter !
What do you get if you cross a pari of hiking boots and a parrot ?
A walkie-talkie !
What do you get if you cross a pen with Napoleon's feet ?
A footnote in history !
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a pair of rubber boots ?
Smelly wellies !
What do you get if you cross a ghost and an Italian restaurant ?
Spookhetti !
What do you get if you cross a cow with an out of date map ?
Udderly lost !
What do you get if you cross a TV soap and a rabbit colony ?
Burrow Nation Street

I hope you liked it!
SmileSmileSmile
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Mystic_gohan
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Wed Apr 22, 2009 3:47 pm

cool jokes congratzz
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:34 am

nice jokes guys Smile
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Thu Apr 23, 2009 8:53 pm

What do you get if you cross a pelican and a zebra ?
Across the road safely !
What do you get if you cross a bee and a coach ?
A Buzzzz !
What do you get if you cross a monster and a chicken ?
Free strange eggs !
What do you get if you cross a fish and bad breath ?
Halibut - osis !
What do you get if you cross a compass and a shellfish ?
A guided mussel !
What do you get if you cross a school with a computer supplier ?
Floppy Desks !
What do you get if you cross a baby with soldiers ?
Infantry !
What do you get if you cross a very bent piece of wood with a spaceship ?
Warp factor 7 !
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser, a storyteller and a young horse ?
A pony tail !
What do you get if you cross motorcycle and a funny story ?
A Yamaha ha ha ha !


LOL!
Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:05 am

hahahahaha!!!LOLz!thats funny Laughing Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:33 pm

Thank you for appreciating my jokes!!! Very Happy:D
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Vedu_King
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:34 pm

ur jokes=really lol!

_________________


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made with Sig Gen
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri Apr 24, 2009 6:41 pm

What do you get if you cross a leopard and a bunch of flowers ?
A beauty spot !
What do you get if you cross a biscuit with a car tyre ?
Crumbs !
What do you get if you cross a rabbit and an aeroplane ?
The hare force !
What do you get if you cross a Welshman with a problem ?
A Dai-lemma !
What do you get if you cross a pub and a steelworks ?
An iron bar !
What do you get if you cross a cow and a jogging machine ?
A milk shake !
What do you get if you cross a book and a pound of fat ?
Lard of the rings !
What do you get if you cross a newsreader and a toad ?
A croaksman !
What do you get if you cross a ghost and a newsreader ?
A spooksman !
What do you get if you cross a suitcase with filbert ?
A nut case !


I hope you like them! Very Happy:D

What do you get if you cross a donkey and Christmas ?
Muletide greetings !
What do you get if you cross the devil and an anagram ?
Santa !
What do you get if you cross a Shakespeare play and a pig ?
A Ham omelette !
What do you get if you cross a Shakespeare play and a vampire ?
Bat breath !
What do you get if you cross an Eskimo and an ex-boyfriend ?
The cold shoulder !
What do you get if you cross a penguin and an elk ?
Chocolate moose !
What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle ?
Bike carbonate of soda !
What do you get if you cross a skeleton, a feather and a joke book ?
Rib ticklers !
What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a garden spade ?
Skullduggery !
What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a dog ?
An animal that buries itself !

I hope you like it! SmileSmileSmile


Last edited by vedu_king on Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:36 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : merged double post)
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun Apr 26, 2009 8:43 pm

cool secret_agent

lady1: last time when i sang my voice was heard in 1000 ears
lady 2: where did you sang
lady 3: in a corn field

is it funny lol
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Mon Apr 27, 2009 2:12 pm

Yeah,it is indeed funny!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:18 am

thankyou

here is 1 more

boy to his servant: i am writing french letter to midge
servant: but sir, you don't know how write french
boy: don't worry, midge doenst know how to read

lol!

:sword:
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:58 am

LOL midge dosen't know how to read french!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sat May 02, 2009 1:02 pm

What do you get if you cross a skeleton and a tumble drier ?
Bone dry clothes !
What do you get if you cross a fish and a Yamaha ?
A motor pike !
What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day ?
DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ !
What do you get if you cross teeth with candy ?
Dental floss !
What do you get if you cross a Spice Girl with a pudding ?
A Jelly Baby !
What do you get if you go on a blind date wearing football boots ?
Stud up !
What do you get if you cross a madman and a bakery ?
Doughnuts !
What do you get if you cross a vampire and a bowl of soup ?
Scream of tomatoes !
What do you get if you cross a pig and a laundry ?
Hogwash !
What do you get if you cross a cake and a disco ?
Abundance !
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri May 08, 2009 7:01 am

hahahahahah!!!that jokes are very funny best buddy hahahahah!!!i can't stop laughing! Laughing Laughing Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri May 08, 2009 9:27 am

cool Laughing jokes
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri May 08, 2009 10:21 am

and funny! Laughing Laughing Laughing i have only see this in the k-zone this is a joke i saw Q:what dog lives near the quator
A:a hot dog! Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sat May 09, 2009 10:36 pm

What do you get if you cross a bad tempered witch doctor, a fizzy drink and your dad ?
A bottle of pop !
What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio ?
Collie-wood !
What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?
A cricket ball !
What do you get if you cross a giant ape and a self defence class ?
Kong-fu !
What do you get if you cross a jet engine and a tennis racket ?
A Tennis Rocket !
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ?
The Baaahaaamaaas !
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a vampire ?
A were - wool !
What do you get if you cross a King and a boat ?
King Canoe !
What do you get if you cross a herb and Doctor Who ?
A thyme machine !
What do you get if you cross two sailors and a bottle of HP ?
Tartare Sauce !
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sat May 09, 2009 11:57 pm

this is most funny!

hahahahahahahaha hungama!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun May 10, 2009 12:08 pm

hahahahaha!!!! Laughing ROFL!!!!!! i cant stop laughing ROFL!!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun May 10, 2009 1:00 pm

Me too!

ROFL!!!!!!ROFL!!!!!!ROFL!!!!!!ROFL!!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun May 10, 2009 2:22 pm

your the funniest best buddy Very Happy:D:D
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun May 10, 2009 9:56 pm

yes right ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!
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