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 AWSUM JOKES!!!!!

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Vedu_King
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PostSubject: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:52 pm

First topic message reminder :

Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died.
"You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. He unfolded the note and read a loud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

--------------

2 sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the
other to check whether its working, he puts his head out and says
YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

--------------

Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!


------------

Santa: I have swallowed a key.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.


----------------

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.

Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''

-------------

A train suddenly deviated from the tracks and ran onto the nearby fields before returning on the tracks again. The passengers were horrified at this. At the
next railway station, the driver was caught and questioned. He was a sardar and explained that a man was standing on the tracks and he refused to budge.

The authorities asked him, "Sardarji, are you mad? Just to save one person, you put so many lives in danger. You should have overrun that person."

The sardar replied: "Exactly, that is what I was doing, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came near"

-------------

once a sardar ji went for an interview for the post of electrical engg.

desk: so you are coming for this post.

sardar ji: yes sir.

desk: so tell me how does an electrical motor runs?

sardarji: o ji its very simple.
TORRRRRRRRRRR..........


---------------

a foolish fellow named banta singh wrote this letter to bill gates(old president of america who discovered windows 95)

Dear Mr Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a
computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to
your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and
whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.

We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****.

I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the
password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down '
button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost
the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find',
but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as i have to protect my 'mouse' from
CAT, So i suggest u to provide one DOG to protect from the cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning
'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to
collect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft
sentence', so when u will provide that?

10. Hey, I brought computer, cpu, mouse and keypad there is only one
icon with 'MY Computer', where is remaining ?

11. And in 'MY Pictures' there is not even single photo of mine, So when u will keep my photo in that.

hope you have enjoyed these jokes Very Happy i'll post more later
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Mon May 11, 2009 4:51 pm

Thank you for saying that guys!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Mon May 11, 2009 7:59 pm

your welcome best buddy!!! Smile Smile Smile
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Mon May 11, 2009 10:11 pm

HEHE I like those jokes very much!!
Very Happy:D:D:D
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 9:11 am

me too their way beyond funny Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 4:40 pm

I'll post again tom...!!! Very Happy:D:D:D:D:D
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 5:23 pm

yehey i can't wait Smile !!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 7:36 pm

I hope we got some... Very Happy:D:D
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 12, 2009 8:54 pm

i wish its way beyond funniest Smile
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Wed May 13, 2009 5:09 pm

What do you get if you cross a bad tempered witch doctor, a fizzy drink and your dad ?
A bottle of pop !
What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio ?
Collie-wood !
What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?
A cricket ball !
What do you get if you cross a giant ape and a self defence class ?
Kong-fu !
What do you get if you cross a jet engine and a tennis racket ?
A Tennis Rocket !
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ?
The Baaahaaamaaas !
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a vampire ?
A were - wool !
What do you get if you cross a King and a boat ?
King Canoe !
What do you get if you cross a herb and Doctor Who ?
A thyme machine !
What do you get if you cross two sailors and a bottle of HP ?
Tartare Sauce !

I hope it's very funny!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Thu May 14, 2009 7:18 am

ahahahaoohahahaha!!!!!need to breath i can't stop laughing ahahahahaha!!!!!its way beyond funniest of all ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Thu May 14, 2009 11:07 pm

funny jokes here!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri May 15, 2009 5:26 am

thanks guys!
SmileSmileSmile
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri May 15, 2009 8:25 am

your welcome!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun May 17, 2009 10:12 pm

ur welcme
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 19, 2009 7:58 am

LOLz!!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Thu May 21, 2009 2:51 pm

Those jokes made me laugh until my backbone creaked...
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri May 22, 2009 2:09 am

haha they were nice i want more!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Fri May 22, 2009 6:56 pm

secret_agent wrote:
What do you get if you cross a bad tempered witch doctor, a fizzy drink and your dad ?
A bottle of pop !
What do you get if you cross a dog and a film studio ?
Collie-wood !
What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?
A cricket ball !
What do you get if you cross a giant ape and a self defence class ?
Kong-fu !
What do you get if you cross a jet engine and a tennis racket ?
A Tennis Rocket !
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort ?
The Baaahaaamaaas !
What do you get if you cross a sheep and a vampire ?
A were - wool !
What do you get if you cross a King and a boat ?
King Canoe !
What do you get if you cross a herb and Doctor Who ?
A thyme machine !
What do you get if you cross two sailors and a bottle of HP ?
Tartare Sauce !

I hope it's very funny!
ARRAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i cant stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!ROFL!!!!!!ROFL!!!!!!

_________________


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made with Sig Gen
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sat May 23, 2009 5:37 am

What do you call a man made from toilet paper ?
Louie !
What do you call a very tidy woman ?
Anita House !
What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ?
Jack-u-la !
What do you call a vampire in a raincoat ?
Mack-u-la !
What do you call a vampire Father Christmas ?
Sack-u-la !
What do you call a girl who lives on the same street as a vampire ?
The girl necks door !
What do you call a picture painted by an old master ?
An old masterpiece !
What do you call a horse that eats Indian food ?
Onion Bha-gee-gee !
What do you call a vegetable that tells jokes ?
Jasper Carrot !
What do you call the coldest mammal in the World ?
The Blue Whale !

Jokes that I found the funniest ...

I can't stop laughing ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sat May 23, 2009 6:36 am

ahahahaha!!!!ohahahaha!!!need air can't breath!!!!uhhh!!!ahahahaha!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!! ROFL!!!!!!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun May 24, 2009 4:01 pm

thnx thor!
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Sun May 24, 2009 4:50 pm

so funny secret .......can't stop laughing ..........
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Mon May 25, 2009 6:33 pm

Thnx blue_bird Very Happy
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 26, 2009 7:42 am

youre an extreme joker secret youre really funny at jokes Very Happy:D:D
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PostSubject: Re: AWSUM JOKES!!!!!   Tue May 26, 2009 2:42 pm

Thnx thor!!! Smile Smile Smile
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